


David Bowie but it’s actually Remus Lupin

by MERL1NS_BALLS



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: David Bowie - Freeform, Drunk Peter, First Kiss, Halloween, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, I’m literally putting any tag I can think of so that someone might read this, James Potter is a Good Friend, M/M, MWPP, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mutual Pining, Pining Remus Lupin, Pining Sirius Black, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, The Marauders - Freeform, We do not like JKR, also kind of?, kind of?, ok i think i’m done, remus in makeup, the Three Broomsticks, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 20:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30010635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MERL1NS_BALLS/pseuds/MERL1NS_BALLS
Summary: Remus dresses up as Bowie. Sirius loses his shit.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	David Bowie but it’s actually Remus Lupin

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! This is my first fic, so lmk how I did :
> 
> ALSO!!! I recently read MsKingBean89’s All The Young Dudes (all hail the king/queen of wolfstar) and I completely forgot that Remus having issues with his hip is not in fact, canon, so my apologies for that, and all credit goes to their royal highness! 
> 
> Hope you like it!!!

Perspective of Remus

Monday, October 31st, 1977  
5:13 am

“Nrggh,” Remus mumbled into his pillow, shaking the hand off his ankle and rolling over in the creaky four poster.

“Dammit, Padfoot! I told you he wouldn’t fall for that.”

Remus forced his eyes open and glared at the three boys standing at the end of his bed. It was still dark out. Idiots.

“Fall for what?” Remus asked. 

He was suspicious, but stayed tucked under his blankets. It was too early for this.

“It’s Halloween!” supplied Peter, “We were trying to scare you.”

“I told you just grabbing at his legs wouldn’t work,” James grumbled, “We should have gone with a spell or something. Honestly lads, we literally go to a school for magic and the best thing you could think of was grabbing his bloody legs!”

“Shut up, Prongs,” Sirius thwacked him with his wand.

“Right, just a tip,” Remus mumbled, turning his face back into his pillow, “Don’t wake up your friend — who happens to be reliant on sleep, like a normal person — at five o’clock in the morning, unless you want to have a very grumpy roommate for the rest of the day.”

“Well, perk up by this evening, at least. We’re sneaking into the Three Broomsticks,” Sirius said excitedly, “There’s a muggle tribute band playing for Halloween!”

“Wonderful,” Remus said, “Now piss off, I’m going back to sleep. Breakfast isn’t for another two hours, you wankers.”

“See you downstairs, mate!” James called over his shoulder on the way out of the room.

Remus grunted in response.

***

8:04 am

When Remus finally made his way down for breakfast, most people had already left for lessons. Only the Marauders and a few other students were at the Gryffindor table. 

The great hall was decorated with floating pumpkins, and charmed bats were fluttering below the enchanted ceiling. Remus had spent nearly six years of his life living in this castle, but its beauty never ceased to amaze him. 

“Oi, Moony!” Sirius’s voice jarred him out of his trance, “Come here, I wanna ask you something!”

That could never be good. Remus walked over to where his friends were sitting, one eyebrow raised.

“Yeah?”

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING AS FOR HALLOWEEN?”

“James!”

“I’m sorry, Moony!” James said, “I swear I didn’t tell him, but that just made him suspicious, so he’s been interrogating me all morning.”

Remus rolled his eyes, sitting down and buttering a piece of toast.

“It’s fine, Prongs.” He turned to Sirius, pointing at him with the butter knife, “You. Back off, it’s supposed to be a surprise.”

“I hate surprises!” Sirius whined.

He was pouting, and Remus had to stop himself from reaching out and touching his face.

Not now! He scolded himself.

“No, you don’t. You love surprises. Now shut up and let me eat.”

Sirius grinned.

“You love me really,” he said. “Well, I’m off! Slughorn will have my head if I’m late to potions again. You lucky buggers, I wish I’d dropped it. See ya Moony!”

“Bye, Padfoot.”

Sirius sauntered away, winking at a girl at the Ravenclaw table.

Why only Moony? Remus thought helplessly, staring at his toast, Why not “Bye, lads!” Or “Bye, James!” What if... no, don’t be ridiculous. He’s Sirius bloody Black. He’s just teasing.

“Remus?” — Peter’s voice — “You alright, mate? You keep zoning out.”

Remus’ head snapped up.

“Yeah, fine. Just tired. I was awake at an unreasonable hour this morning, couldn’t tell you why.”

“Sorry, Moony,” James said. “Oh, hey! I had an idea for your costume. Oi, Evans!”

Remus didn’t see how this could go well.

“What, Potter?” Lily Evans scowled.

“Don’t worry, I’m not asking you out,” James grinned, “I think I’ve reached my quota for this week. Moony needs help.”

“Oh,” Lily’s face softened, “Alright, then, what with?”

“Do you have any makeup?”

Oh God, James.

***

Perspective of Sirius

8:37 pm

“Christ, James, what is it?”

Sirius followed his friend up the stairs to their dorm.

“You’ll see, you’ll see!”

James was practically shaking with excitement as they entered the room.

“Is he done yet, Wormy?”

Peter was bent over a record player, fiddling with the dials, “Almost. They’re just in the bathroom. How the fucking hell does this thing work?!” 

Peter flicked his wand violently at the speaker and the familiar riff to Rebel Rebel blasted from it, way too loudly.

“PETE!” Sirius was about to yell, but his words died on his tongue as Remus stepped out of the bathroom, Lily grinning beside him.

“What...”

Remus was decked out in black leather pants and a bright blue suit jacket over his school shirt. Holy shit he looked fit. He had smudged some blue and red stuff around his eyes, and appeared to be wearing-

“Is that lipstick?” Sirius asked, incredulous. Then it dawned on him — “MERLIN, YOU’RE BOWIE! Where’d you get...?” He gestured to Remus’ outfit.

Remus grinned at him, and Sirius felt his stomach flip. Why did that makeup suit him so well? And the pants... Godric.

“That is correct, Padfoot! I got Lils to do the glittery stuff, and I found the clothes last summer at that muggle shop that James made us go to. It was his idea, actually! We saw the pants and James suggested it.”

Sirius was speechless. 

Bloody James, he thought, Probably knows what this is doing to me, the prat.

Someone had turned down the music to a more reasonable volume, and Remus began to shimmy his hips to the song shyly. Sirius cursed his raging teenage hormones and desperately tried to keep his gaze above Remus’s waist.

Rebel, Rebel! You’ve torn your dress

Rebel, Rebel! Your face is a mess 

Rebel, Rebel! How could they know?

Hot tramp! I love you so...

James wolf-whistled and Peter fell into hysterics, clutching his stomach.

Remus looked back to Sirius and winked, laughing.

Fucking Christ, that boy.

***

11:16 pm

They had to wait for a few hours before getting under the cloak and going downstairs. Peter kept fidgeting and checking the map.

“We nearly got caught last time! And it’s way past curfew, what if Mrs. Norris sees us?”

“Pete! We’re fine,” James promised, “We have the map and the cloak, we won’t get caught.”

“Besides,” Sirius contributed, “have you seen Moony tonight? You think we’re just gonna stay in the dorm with him looking like that?”

He realized what he had said, and kicked himself for being so careless. But wait, was Remus blushing?

Peter laughed, “Yeah, of course you think so.”

“What?” Sirius and Remus asked at the same time.

“OW!”

“Shut up, Pete,” James had pinched his arm, “Never mind, he’s being thick. Pete, why don’t you change, we’re getting too big for this cloak.”

Pete rubbed his arm and swiftly turned into a rat, scrambling onto James’s shoulder.

“You’re both being weird.” Sirius said.

“Aren’t we always?”

“Fair point.”

The walk to the statue was excruciating. Remus kept getting jostled into Sirius, which would send him spiralling. He forced himself to think decidedly un-sexy thoughts.

Snapes greasy hair, Mother in that awful brown dress, McGonnagall, homework, that serious look Moony gets when he’s doing homework, kissing Moony- GODDAMIT!

When they finally reached the entrance to the tunnel, Sirius threw off the cloak. He realized too late that he may have been a bit over eager, because James gave him an odd look.

They walked the twenty minutes down the tunnel and into the cellar of Honeydukes.

“Wormtail, no.” James said, not even bothering to look at Peter, who was already reaching for the sweets.

“C’mon just a few!”

“Nuh uh. The show starts at midnight, and we’ve gotta get there on time or they won’t let us in.”

“Ugh, fine,” Peter sighed.

Sirius smiled as he saw Remus hand Peter a chocolate frog. He was too nice for his own good.

***

11:57 pm

James was right, as usual. They got there just before twelve and still had to do a little bit of convincing to get let in.

The pub was crowded and filled with noise, but it was warm so Sirius didn’t mind. Remus’s getup had earned a few glances, which he either hadn’t noticed or was ignoring. They ordered a round of drinks (“I don’t care, Potter, we’re nearly of age!”) and settled themselves in seats in the corner of the room. 

The band started playing a song Sirius didn’t recognize and he looked over at Remus to see his reaction.  
He could have sworn his heart stopped for a second. 

Remus was gazing up at the wizards on the stage, a look of complete amazement on his face. He was nodding his head along to the beat and his wavy hair flopped into his eyes, which were still framed by glitter. Sirius wanted nothing more in that moment than to kiss him — to hold his Moony and never let him go. 

Sirius must have been staring for a bit too long, because Remus looked over at him quizzically. Sirius blushed and looked away. He had to stop doing that.

***

Perspective of Remus

Tuesday, November 1st, 1977  
1:06 am

Had Sirius been staring? He couldn’t have been. But he had that look on his face...

Remus shook himself out of it.

Eighteen songs and way too many drinks in, he was beginning to get tired. Pete looked dangerously closer and closer to falling off his chair every time he took a sip of firewhiskey. That had to have been his sixth glass.

Remus’s eyes fluttered, and he could feel the exhaustion setting in.

“Moony’s getting sleepy,” Sirius teased gently, “Wanna start heading back?”

Shut up, you pretty boy, he thought

“Mm hm,” was all he said, nodding.

“I’on wanna leave yet,” Peter slurred, “Jam will stay with me! You two go home ‘n get married or somethin’”

James laughed, “Alright, Wormy, but no more to drink for you.” He took the glass out of Peters chubby hands, “You guys can go back, I’ll stay with him until he’s less...” Peter fell off his stool, “Well, you know.”

“Thanks, Prongs,” Remus smiled, ignoring the fear that sparked at the thought of being alone with Sirius while drunk. He’d better not do anything stupid.

“Good luck, mate,” Sirius grinned, eyeing Peter. He had attracted some attention, sprawled out in the grimy floor.

They walked back to Honeydukes in comfortable silence. 

Halfway down the tunnel, Remus felt his hip begin to stiffen. He grimaced and stopped walking for a second. Sirius turned around, wand illuminating his face.

“You alright, Moony? Wanna take a break?”

“Mm, yeah if you don’t mind. Bloody hip.”

“‘Course. Wanna fag?” Sirius held out a pack of cigarettes to him.

“Cheers.”

He lit the cigarette and inhaled, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes. 

Good, he thought, Everything’s normal. Everything’s fine.

Then Sirius’s hands were on his chest.

***

Perspective of Sirius 

1:38 am

Sirius watched Remus smoke for a while, careful not to zone out this time. Why was that so attractive? He let his eyes wander down Remus’s body. It was a ridiculous outfit, really, but somehow Remus managed to make it look good, the bastard. The lipstick had worn off, but there was still a slight reddish tint to his lips.

Sirius couldn’t stand it. 

He pushed Remus against the wall, and snatched the cigarette away, heart racing. How dare he look so hot in makeup! 

Remus’s eyes widened, “Sirius, what-“

“Shut up, Moony.”

He brushed his lips against Remus’s — a whisper of a kiss — before pressing harder, more urgently. Remus froze for a second, but then reached his hand up to wind his fingers through the other boys hair, opening his mouth and allowing Sirius to slip his tongue in. Sirius stifled a groan as Remus pressed closer, one hand sliding around to his lower back. Was this really happening? Had he had too much to drink? Was he dreaming? 

I’m kissing Remus Lupin, he thought, and his stomach fluttered, Remus Lupin is kissing me back.

“Oi, lads!” A voice came from down the darkened tunnel, startling them apart, “Wormtail is absolutely pissed so we’re going to- OH! OH, OOPS I’M SORRY! AS YOU WERE!”

Sirius’s hands were still on Remus’s waist, and he pulled back quickly.

“You can open your eyes, James, we’re not naked.”

James stood in front of them, wand lit, and wearing a slightly bemused expression.

“I um... Didn’t mean to interrupt, just came to tell you that Pete has just tried to seduce Rosmerta, so we’re heading back with you. He wanted me to ‘go ahead and check for monsters’ so I left him at Honeydukes. Do you... have something to tell me?”

He looked as if he couldn’t decide whether to be confused or elated.

“We, erm...” Remus started, “I actually don’t know... what we... um, Sirius?”

“I was just, uh... I wanted to, er...” Sirius trailed off, not sure who to look at. Remus was staring at him, looking flustered, and James still had that annoying smirk on his face.

“You’re both useless,” He laughed, “Never mind, I won’t bother you now, but we’re going to have a conversation later! I’ll go get Wormy before he eats all the sweets.”

He practically skipped back down the tunnel, clearly pleased with the information he had just stumbled upon.

“So... what was that?” Remus asked.

Sirius winced.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make things weird, I just- the makeup, Moony! It’s not fair.”

“No don’t apologize, I liked it. Just... Did you actually mean to do that?”

He liked it.

“No, Moony. I accidentally fell on your face with my face.”

“I mean are you drunk! Is this... something? Or did you just feel like snogging someone?”

Remus looked hurt, and very close to being angry. Oh shit.

“No! I mean, yeah, I wanted to kiss you, obviously! But also... I’m in love with you? I think I might be in love with you. Unless you don’t love me. In that case, yeah I’m super drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing. But now you look mad so I don’t really know where to go from here. Oh Merlin, what have I-“

Remus cut him off with another kiss, holding Sirius’ face in his scarred hands.

“Of course I love you, idiot.”

They stayed there for a while, eyes closed and foreheads pressed together. Sirius knew that the hard part was nowhere near being over — James was right, there were still many conversations to be had — but standing there with Remus, Sirius couldn’t care less. 

“Ooh, are they fin’ly shaggin’?” somebody shouted, “I bloody told you, Jammy!”

A very drunk looking Peter stumbled down the tunnel, half draped over a grinning James.

“I know Petey-boy! You were right.”

Remus rolled his eyes, and all was well.

**Author's Note:**

> Tysm for reading :) any kudos/comments are greatly appreciated, I need validation.
> 
> ALSO I DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE ITALICS WORK SO I’M SORRY IF SOME BITS DON’T MAKE SENSE :(


End file.
